i've been considering some harsh damage recently, but i have the most amount of motivation possible to achieve them. When i get money, you will all understand what will happen. I'm not bothered who i upset in the long run, because it's proven i can only rely on few. Some of my motives to things are sickening and if you were to ever know what i have been thinking over the last couple of days you would be scared for me.

You won't ever understand how i am, or who i am, because i don't even know who i am anymore.. I wish i could go back to the state of a child between infancy and adolescence, little less worry.. and i would do things with an entirely different approach as to what im doing now. I feel sick with guilt on myself about what i have been thinking, and i'm terrified to know how i will protect myself if anything occurs.

The worst part is everything i would do would be intentional.